tell me what you think it means..

have you ever found yourself spacing out while listening to music, like doing something, maybe singing the song or something. well sometimes when i'm listening to music i think of something and i just have a daydream in my head of me in a room alone and i'm really angry. i start throwing stuff and pulling my hair and just beating the crap out of things and the only thing i can hear is the song. someone could walk into the room and say my name three or four times and i won't even notice them. its kind of scary, because i don't want to be this angry person anymore, i try so hard to not let my anger consume me, i don't want to be that person again, but i can't help it sometimes. sometimes i just blow up. over nothing. mhmmm.. =[

bleh.

I will never know, myself
until I do this, on my own
And I will never feel, anything else
until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything
till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

so something really strange happened today....

the song i posted in a blog yesterday is a very important song to me
it's called landslide by fleetwood mac
and i don't know why i decided to listen to it yesterday
i hardly ever listen to it because it always makes me cry
the reason its so important to me is because when i used to live with my mom and she was a drug addict she told me that she wanted me to play this song for her at her funeral.
and my mom has been worrying that she has lung cancer or a tumor in her arm lately and i've been really scared.
so for some reason i thought i would post it in a blog.
but anyways, today when i got on the bus, as soon as i sat down, they played the song on the radio.
it was really strange.
and i don't know what to think of it.
i'm not exactly the religous type.
i've been unsure about religion my whole life.
but when that happened i really didn't know what to make of it
was it just a simple coincidence
or is it "god" trying to tell me something...................

='[

the band that explains my thoughts, my life, everything.

the only way i can express my self.
the music that helped me through everything.
the music that probably saved my life.
An American Shootout.
Listen to them, read the lyrics, you'll understand.

...

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

A great way to start out the morning

cooking eggs, bacon, and toast, and listening to Jason Mraz, Guns N' Roses, and Colbie Caillat.

Well, you done dawned me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back
before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my best test
and nothings gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait I'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours

Scooch on over closer, dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'd be saying is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours

so please don't, please don't, please don't,
there's no need to complicate,
Cause our time is short
This, this, this is our fate,
I'm yours

Things that i have done with photoshop

This is the newest one I've done. It's an old picture of me with long hair. That Anne would say is "haunting". I don't really know why i made this one. there's a brush that i used on there and just started messing with it and made a cool shape. So i did it in a few other colors and it turned out really cool. I can't really describe what it is though. The first color i used was white, then from there i did a bright pink, a darker pink, red, and bright orange, and then black.

It's just an abstract object. I'm pretty proud of this one.

This is an old one of my dad from when i first started using photoshop. I was trying to make him a zombie =]. It didn't turn out that well though.

This is another old one. I used to have this fan site thing for different bands. I made layouts, contact boxes, and just random graphics. But i didn't do it for very long. This is one of the best ones i think i ever did.

This one is pretty recent. This is one i did at like 4 in the morning one weekend. Because i have no life =].

The girl in the picture is my friend karah. I made her into a zombie. haha.